Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Bonding
I've helped her draft potholder patterns herself, now we're pinning and getting ready to start cutting. :-)
Sent from the TARDIS Intergalactic Temporal Mobile Service
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Baking
I love how self sufficient it makes me feel, as well as how wonderful it tastes.
What's your favorite bread recipe? Mine is frm the Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day cookbook by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoë François.
Sent from the TARDIS Intergalactic Temporal Mobile Service
Duck Goes Potty
Duck Goes Potty by Michael DahlMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
My son loves this book a lot.
He especially loves that Duck messes up in trying to learn to use the potty, and that he can point to the "yucky poo poo" when Duck misses. I don't particularly love that part, but it's written for toddlers, so I'm not really the intended audience.
He has actually memorized this book and loved it so enthusiastically that I'd go so far as to say it's at least half responsible for his potty training by 2 years and 2 months.
"No more diapers Duck!" became his battle cry when squirming away from the diaper I'd try to put on him for going places or for bedtime.
So, if you're trying to get your kid interested in potty learning, this might be a good book to add to the bedtime story rotation.
View all my reviews
Yes, I just realized my review is longer than the book.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sword of Avalon, by Diana Paxon
Sword of Avalon by Diana L. PaxsonMy rating: 3 of 5 stars
In general, I like what Paxon has been doing with the Avalon series. Ancestors of Avalon was an engaging read, Ravens of Avalon was visceral and moving, and in as much as Paxon's writing invariably weaves a thick spell transporting the reader through time and space, I didn't love this book as much as I have loved the past books.
While there were parts in which the writing was so vivid and compelling I forgot to breathe for entire pages, the themes common to all of the Avalon books sometimes seemed to be stronger forces than the characters or the conditions. I love that Paxon took the time to write the story of the forging of Excalibur, but perhaps a little more time would have been called for?
Many of the trials and tribulations suffered by the hero seemed to have been created solely for the purpose of adding to the list of what Mikantor endured. While elevating his standing as the classic hero archetype, they did little to further the plot or to really illuminate his character. While consistent with the theme that each new trial was a new forging of his character, juxtaposed with the heavy smithing theme of the book, it often fell flat.
Similarly, parts of the story which seemed to offer a great deal of opportunity for deep character development were often written through in the matter of a paragraph while great detail was often devoted to banalities which neither added to the tale nor helped draw the reader further into it.
As a fan of this series, of Bradley's, and of Paxon's, I feel as though this book must have been rushed to print before it was ready. I would make an allusion to the forging of iron, but alas, at this point, I am tired of them.
The imagery is powerful, and the feminist themes are still strong, both of which are hallmarks of the series. However, I feel this book could have been so much more, and at times, I was also disappointed with the shoddy editing.
Of course I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys the series, and I appreciate that one can read each of the books in the Avalon series independently, but it is not the brightest star in that constellation. That said, it is well worth reading for the smithing scenes alone.
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Sunday, August 21, 2011
Editing
Editing works.
Sincerely,
Slee
Sent from the TARDIS Intergalactic Temporal Mobile Service
Saturday, August 20, 2011
My Favorite Fiction, on Fabric!
I've been having a lot of fun with it. Sure, it's a bit pricey, but I think that I'm going to save up and get myself some for Christmas. Even if it's just enough to make a pillow case for the JabberWalky or Mongoosine's bedroom.
I even made one just with Daleks.
Maybe this one for Mongoosine and the TARDIS one for JabberWalky?
Nifty Eye of Jupiter Mandala shrink plastic necklace inspired by Battlestar Galactica.
Yes, I'm a Science Ficton kind of girl.
How does your favorite fiction influence your craftier side? I'd love to know.
Friday, August 19, 2011
A Cozy Reading Nook
Curling up with a good book is by far one of my favorite activities. I prefer it to baking, sleeping, sewing, swimming, and snarking back at the television.
Reading is one of the most enjoyable things I can think of.
So would it surprise you to learn that I don't have anywhere particularly comfortable to read in my house? No cozy reading nook, no quiet and comfortable chair with soft lighting and a place to put my feet without the interruptions associated with parenting?
I know, a travesty. Well, a travesty in as much as any first world problems are.
My favorite place to read for many years was actually the bathtub. Yes, it requires a bit of skill to know without a shadow of a doubt that you won't be dropping that expensive treasure into the water, and its something I was loathe to do with a book that didn't come off my personal book shelves, and no, I wouldn't do it with an irreplaceable tome, but give me a paperback worth getting to know, a hot bubble bath, a locked door, and an open window with a nice breeze, and I'm in literary heaven.
For now, an antique chair or the porch swing will have to do, or most uncomfortably of all, my bed. But eventually there will be a couch or a comfy chair with a footstool, or even, dare I dream it, a bathtub and I'll read even the more blissfully.
Reading is one of the most enjoyable things I can think of.
So would it surprise you to learn that I don't have anywhere particularly comfortable to read in my house? No cozy reading nook, no quiet and comfortable chair with soft lighting and a place to put my feet without the interruptions associated with parenting?
I know, a travesty. Well, a travesty in as much as any first world problems are.
My favorite place to read for many years was actually the bathtub. Yes, it requires a bit of skill to know without a shadow of a doubt that you won't be dropping that expensive treasure into the water, and its something I was loathe to do with a book that didn't come off my personal book shelves, and no, I wouldn't do it with an irreplaceable tome, but give me a paperback worth getting to know, a hot bubble bath, a locked door, and an open window with a nice breeze, and I'm in literary heaven.
For now, an antique chair or the porch swing will have to do, or most uncomfortably of all, my bed. But eventually there will be a couch or a comfy chair with a footstool, or even, dare I dream it, a bathtub and I'll read even the more blissfully.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
A Dream Tale
As a child my parents were frugal. My mother was fond of saying "we're not wasting money on..." and two of her favorite things not to waste money on were cable television and pop. There are a good many other things we didn't waste money on, designer clothes, expensive shoes, hair cuts, and smelly soaps, but these two things on which we didn't "waste money" stand out in my mind. The one because it surprises me, in retrospect, that I wasn't hopped up on caffeine when I tell you that I was a horrible insomniac as a child. Falling asleep at night was one of the most difficult things I attempted nightly as though I'd just downed 20oz of Code Red. The other influenced me in that I knew there was a wealth of entertainment I wasn't seeing, because I heard the other kids at school talk about it, and so when I'd lay down to go to bed, after mom would take my book and my flashlight away from me, I'd hold very still, close my eyes, and construct a story of my own for entertainment in those pesky hours between eleven and three.
I'd create whole different worlds peopled by caricatures of real people I knew, shadowy nondescript people who served functions more than anything else, and dynamic individuals with all the quirks of genuine people. I'd spend weeks and even months in a story line or created world, every night constructing new scenes or re-imagining them until they were just right.
They were like lucid dreams for me, these stories I'd build.
They weren't always worlds entirely of my own creation. Sometimes I'd borrow worlds from the books I was reading, envisioning them clearly in my mind and slipping into the story alongside my favorite characters. In retrospect, I am surprised that I created sub-stories within and around the plot rather than filling the shoes of another character.
I cherished that time spent in worlds of my own, and eventually, as the insomnia wore down and my time imagining was replaced with watching magnificent fiction on television with my father late into the night, because mom finally caved in and decided that cable wasn't a waste, I didn't have that time and focus,I began to miss it.
I still miss slipping into my favorite stories. I wish I could do it more often.
I'd create whole different worlds peopled by caricatures of real people I knew, shadowy nondescript people who served functions more than anything else, and dynamic individuals with all the quirks of genuine people. I'd spend weeks and even months in a story line or created world, every night constructing new scenes or re-imagining them until they were just right.
They were like lucid dreams for me, these stories I'd build.
They weren't always worlds entirely of my own creation. Sometimes I'd borrow worlds from the books I was reading, envisioning them clearly in my mind and slipping into the story alongside my favorite characters. In retrospect, I am surprised that I created sub-stories within and around the plot rather than filling the shoes of another character.
I cherished that time spent in worlds of my own, and eventually, as the insomnia wore down and my time imagining was replaced with watching magnificent fiction on television with my father late into the night, because mom finally caved in and decided that cable wasn't a waste, I didn't have that time and focus,I began to miss it.
I still miss slipping into my favorite stories. I wish I could do it more often.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
My Son's Hero
Of course, of all these things, he's most intrigued by motorcycles. When I announced we were going to visit grandma and grandpa, he immediately told me he wanted to see BaPa ride his motorcycle. He also said he wanted to ride BaPa's motorcycle.
That's right, he's convinced that he's big enough to ride.
I think it's gret that he looks up to his grandpa so much, but as a parent, I'm already worrying about the type of trouble a boy with a yen for motorsports and motorbikes can get into.
Either way, Bapa, the motorcycle man is his hero.
Who is your toddler's hero, and are you 100% behind what that means, or am I the only one feeling trepidation?
Sent from the TARDIS Intergalactic Temporal Mobile Service
Atonement, by Ian McEwan
Atonement by Ian McEwanMy rating: 3 of 5 stars
This book was so well lauded that I felt obligated to read it. I found the story compelling, the writing both visceral and honest, and the characters compelling.
That said, I wish to god I had stopped reading when it felt like a good stopping point in the book.
I highly recommend, for the sake of long term enjoyability of this tale, setting it down and calling yourself finished when you feel everything has ended appropriately, because the ending? The actual endy ending after everything seems to have ended? It's wretched.
I know, it's the whole point of the novel, but it's wretched and left me feeling quite betrayed by the entire tale, so while yes, I liked the book, and yes, it's a well written historical novel, I hesitate to even give it three full stars.
I am glad I read Atonement, but I regret finishing it.
View all my reviews
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Footfall, by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle
Footfall by Larry NivenMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Two of my favorite literary themes combine in Footfall: survivalism and first contact.
I enjoy books about first contact because each one envisions a different reason for contact, and the myriad ways in which humanity, as a group entity, is likely to meet that cultural challenge. In Footfall, humanity falls into two different and distinct categories in the face of an alien race bent on conquest.
Imagined with realistic characters and an almost ridiculous yet remarkable believable alien race which sidesteps the standard humanoid alien stereotype, Footfall affords the reader the opportunity to redraw their notions of what may be out there, the bounds of human ingenuity and determination.
I really enjoyed Footfall.
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Monday, August 15, 2011
Life as a Study in Fiction
I rarely tell the truth. The Whole Truth. The Nothing But the Truth. The So Help Me God.
It isn't that I intend to lie, but if asked a simple yes or no question, I'm liable to spend a very long time trying to figure out which answer is correct. At some point I'll give up and give the response that I suspect most closely aligns with what I'm being asked, but that's not precisely the same as telling the truth.
When you ask me what happened, I'm going to edit the story. I'll make myself sound less skittish and shy, and whomever I'm dealing with sound a little more the way I wanted them to sound. Details will be omitted for concision and others because I don't like them.
I may well say "I don't recall," when I mean "I don't like the answer."
I may also say that I don't remember when I lack the detail necessary to fully explain or simply do not want to explain the complexities of how something was imparted.
It's not personal. I'm not trying to lie to you.
Truth, as it is experienced, is subjective, and as it is told, is selective.
We all edit things, and will call a good number of things by general terms which do not truthfully describe for the sake of brevity. We all want to sound a little better in our tales of youthful misadventure.
I don't think it's lying, I think it's editing, and being human.
Yes, I tell my kids there is a Santa Claus. Am I lying to them? I don't think so. There IS a Santa. There's one at the mall, another at the park, another down the street, yet another in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. There are all sorts of Santas. There's the Santa I am when I wrap gifts and put them under the tree. There's the Santa my friends were the year we couldn't afford Christmas and they surprised us with gifts for the kids. So my truth might not be the pure truth, but I'm still telling them there's a Santa with a clean conscience.
Truth is subjective.
I also think that it reflects the way in which memory is subjective and selective.
Sometimes I watch police dramas and wonder how witnesses can recount conversations of which they do not possess a transcript. Was that really what was said? Precisely. Of course not.
So no, if you're looking for truth-as-it-happened, you'll have to keep looking, and I don't know where you're going to find it.
If you're looking for approximations of the truth, edited, hopefully with a light and generally honest hand, then we'll get along just fine.
How about you. Does anything other than the purest of truth cross your lips, your fingertips?
It isn't that I intend to lie, but if asked a simple yes or no question, I'm liable to spend a very long time trying to figure out which answer is correct. At some point I'll give up and give the response that I suspect most closely aligns with what I'm being asked, but that's not precisely the same as telling the truth.
When you ask me what happened, I'm going to edit the story. I'll make myself sound less skittish and shy, and whomever I'm dealing with sound a little more the way I wanted them to sound. Details will be omitted for concision and others because I don't like them.
I may well say "I don't recall," when I mean "I don't like the answer."
I may also say that I don't remember when I lack the detail necessary to fully explain or simply do not want to explain the complexities of how something was imparted.
It's not personal. I'm not trying to lie to you.
Truth, as it is experienced, is subjective, and as it is told, is selective.
We all edit things, and will call a good number of things by general terms which do not truthfully describe for the sake of brevity. We all want to sound a little better in our tales of youthful misadventure.
I don't think it's lying, I think it's editing, and being human.
Yes, I tell my kids there is a Santa Claus. Am I lying to them? I don't think so. There IS a Santa. There's one at the mall, another at the park, another down the street, yet another in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. There are all sorts of Santas. There's the Santa I am when I wrap gifts and put them under the tree. There's the Santa my friends were the year we couldn't afford Christmas and they surprised us with gifts for the kids. So my truth might not be the pure truth, but I'm still telling them there's a Santa with a clean conscience.
Truth is subjective.
I also think that it reflects the way in which memory is subjective and selective.
Sometimes I watch police dramas and wonder how witnesses can recount conversations of which they do not possess a transcript. Was that really what was said? Precisely. Of course not.
So no, if you're looking for truth-as-it-happened, you'll have to keep looking, and I don't know where you're going to find it.
If you're looking for approximations of the truth, edited, hopefully with a light and generally honest hand, then we'll get along just fine.
How about you. Does anything other than the purest of truth cross your lips, your fingertips?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Mote in God's Eye, by Larry Niven
The Mote in God's Eye by Larry NivenMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
My dad started trying to get me to read this book while I was in high school. He told me it was one of the best science fiction books he'd ever read, and I didn't believe him. I finally read it about 13 years later.
It turns out, he was right.
The Mote in God's Eye is an exceptionally well thought out science fiction novel. I liked that although the science, technology, and other worlds make up a great deal of the book, the social and implications for humanity remain forefront throughout the novel. The main characters and even the secondary ones have distinct and interesting personalities, and are generally likable.
A highly enjoyable treatment of first-contact, I highly recommend it to any of you who haven't yet gotten around to it.
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Saturday, August 13, 2011
Literacy and Parenting
Books are the poor man's passport. They are the child's passport. They can take the reader anywhere that can be dreamed of, any time that has passed or yet may be. Books are, quite truly, magical things. Sacred things. It is little wonder that the adherents to monotheist religions are called "People of the Book." If I followed a religion perhaps it would be one of Literacy. Books are powerful. They inform, enlighten, inspire, entertain, elevate, and assuage.
If you've been following along, you may have noticed I've been writing up a lot of book reviews lately. This is partially because Fiction is the August theme for NaBloPoMo, and partly because I love books.
When I pack for a trip, the first thing I wonder isn't "what clothes should I bring," it is "what books can I bring." When my daughter was going away this summer on tour with her choir, I worried about how I was going to get enough ebooks on her (now dead) Pandigital Novel* so she could keep herself occupied during down time. We're a reading household.
Reading is an important part of parenting for me. Having my kids see me reading. Reading to them when they're younger, reading some of the same books when they're older so that we can discuss what we've read like a little family book club.
Part of what makes a family a family is shared experience. If we share DNA and no personal history, then we're names on a family tree, but not a family unit. Similarly, if we shared no DNA but did share the bulk of our experiences, then we'd be closer family than those with whom we only share a few of both. I think it's important that we share stories as well.
A family that reads together has something to talk about over dinner.
That said, I find it is hard to find time to read with small children. I know a lot of this is that I have made the choice to cosleep with my toddler, so when he's out for the night, the lights need to go out. It works great for remembering his late night reading, and I wouldn't want to trade having my sweet boy sleeping where it's easiest to check on him and he is most comfortable for ease of reading. I just want some more time with a good novel. During the day he's interested in his books, but seems to resent time I spend with mine. Every stolen chapter is a struggle for us.
Do you have a solution for keeping reading a vital part of your daily routine?
I think I'm going to start employing some at-home DEAR time. Drop Everything And Read seems to work well in the schools, so might as well give it a go at home. I want to set a time that stays the same every day. Maybe after lunch? Maybe we'll start with just 15 minutes of quiet, no-television, no-loud-music, no-jumping, no-grabbing quiet reading time. Maybe I'll set up a reading nook for the toddler with lots of fun picture books and maybe some letter cards, and set it up beside a comfortable reading chair for me. He can look at his books, and I can read my books. The tween can read her books too.
I think it will help. Do you have any other suggestions?
*It's dead because she mistook the power supply for my netbook for her Pandigital Novel's power supply. The voltages are extremely different, and now her Novel won't even consider starting. I hope this is something we can fix at some point, because I liked the machine a lot, and frankly, it was expensive. Moral- don't buy your kid a piece of electronic equipment that you can't afford to take in stride the replacement thereof.
If you've been following along, you may have noticed I've been writing up a lot of book reviews lately. This is partially because Fiction is the August theme for NaBloPoMo, and partly because I love books.
When I pack for a trip, the first thing I wonder isn't "what clothes should I bring," it is "what books can I bring." When my daughter was going away this summer on tour with her choir, I worried about how I was going to get enough ebooks on her (now dead) Pandigital Novel* so she could keep herself occupied during down time. We're a reading household.
Reading is an important part of parenting for me. Having my kids see me reading. Reading to them when they're younger, reading some of the same books when they're older so that we can discuss what we've read like a little family book club.
Part of what makes a family a family is shared experience. If we share DNA and no personal history, then we're names on a family tree, but not a family unit. Similarly, if we shared no DNA but did share the bulk of our experiences, then we'd be closer family than those with whom we only share a few of both. I think it's important that we share stories as well.
A family that reads together has something to talk about over dinner.
That said, I find it is hard to find time to read with small children. I know a lot of this is that I have made the choice to cosleep with my toddler, so when he's out for the night, the lights need to go out. It works great for remembering his late night reading, and I wouldn't want to trade having my sweet boy sleeping where it's easiest to check on him and he is most comfortable for ease of reading. I just want some more time with a good novel. During the day he's interested in his books, but seems to resent time I spend with mine. Every stolen chapter is a struggle for us.
Do you have a solution for keeping reading a vital part of your daily routine?
I think I'm going to start employing some at-home DEAR time. Drop Everything And Read seems to work well in the schools, so might as well give it a go at home. I want to set a time that stays the same every day. Maybe after lunch? Maybe we'll start with just 15 minutes of quiet, no-television, no-loud-music, no-jumping, no-grabbing quiet reading time. Maybe I'll set up a reading nook for the toddler with lots of fun picture books and maybe some letter cards, and set it up beside a comfortable reading chair for me. He can look at his books, and I can read my books. The tween can read her books too.
I think it will help. Do you have any other suggestions?
*It's dead because she mistook the power supply for my netbook for her Pandigital Novel's power supply. The voltages are extremely different, and now her Novel won't even consider starting. I hope this is something we can fix at some point, because I liked the machine a lot, and frankly, it was expensive. Moral- don't buy your kid a piece of electronic equipment that you can't afford to take in stride the replacement thereof.
Friday, August 12, 2011
The Vampire Armand, by Anne Rice
The Vampire Armand by Anne RiceMy rating: 2 of 5 stars
When I first attempted to read this book, I took it back to the library the next morning after only having read about a third of the book. The librarian asked me if the book was "that good." I sighed and said, "I wonder if she's getting paid by the word these days."
Sadly, Rice's typically lush wording came across as needlessly verbose. The prose was too dense for me to ever feel fully inside the story.
As a result, it was many years before I could pick up the book again and though I did finish it the second time, I found the tale to be both forgettable and flat in comparison to other Rice novels which still managed to move me.
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Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Bewitching of Anne Gunter: A Horrible and True Story of Deception, Witchcraft, Murder, and the King of England, by James Sharpe
The Bewitching of Anne Gunter: A Horrible and True Story of Deception, Witchcraft, Murder, and the King of England by James SharpeMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Though the title is cumbersome, if Sharpe had added the word "Football" to the list of subjects, it would fairly well sum up the entirety of the books multitude of themes. Yes, really, football.
Overall, for a heady academic non-fiction historical work, it read remarkably smoothly. Sharpe's treatment of the subject is thorough, detailed, and accessible.
I enjoyed that Sharpe explained customs and details with which the reader would likely be unfamiliar with concise detail, while elaborating enough to impart the reader with a passable understanding rather than oversimplifying things. I like that Sharpe's prose expects the reader to be intelligent without presupposing a specific and unlikely body of knowledge.
What I most enjoyed about this book was that Anne Gunter was such an unlikely candidate for being the subject of a book hundreds of years after her death. She was of little to no consequence in terms of the turning of the world, but her contains such depth of rich material, that to think of it as being relegated to silence with the rest of the masses is simply appalling. Her tale is both remakrable and surprising, and this book is well worth the read if you have any interest in Tudor/Stewart history and the peculiarities of the time.
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Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The Fatal Crown, by Ellen Jones
The Fatal Crown by Ellen JonesMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
I bought this book for almost nothing at one of those roving book sales where nearly all the literature is semi-awful, and that's why they're unloading it. Like many a teenager, I was guilty of judging a book by it's cover, and the cover made it seem like the sort of book I'd enjoy because they were dressed in what I, then, called "garb," because I spent too many summers at Renaissance Faires.
That said, the book sat on my shelves for years, unopened, because I couldn't imagine that it'd be a very good read. Come on, a book about someone called Maude? No thanks.
However, during a string of illnesses that left me bereft of library books and without the fortitude to even watch television, I decided to go through and read all the books I'd been neglecting.
Much to my surprise, I found The Fatal Crown both fascinating and well written. I enjoyed the rich detail and the depth of the characters.
Though as an historian, I found the basic premise of the book to be unlikely, as a work of historical fiction, I found it made the larger events of the time much more accessible than the average book regarding the era.
I liked it enjoyable and engaging, and would recommend it to those who enjoy historical fiction without getting up in arms about how fictitiously the personal lives of the historic players have been treated.
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Tuesday, August 09, 2011
To Begin
Thank you for reading me, without you, I don't exist.
That's how I think a book should start. I like a book that surprises me, that grabs me. I like a book which catches me off guard by acknowledging me. No, not all the time, but once in a while, when a book is written as though it's being written to me, or better still, urgently whispered into my ear, it makes reading all the sweeter.
Many books have brilliant openings, though most of them, even the most brilliant of them, are forgettable. There are the standards, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth," or "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," but in general, no matter how immediately the author sucks the reader into his/her tale, unless it is a truly jarring first sentence, the reader won't remember it fifteen pages into the book. That's why I want a first line that startles. Non-confrontational yet direct. A first line that unsettles. A first line that addresses me so personally that it might as well have said "Dear Slee."
Who knows, perhaps I'll take that opening to the bank. Perhaps I'll go ahead and use it for my NaNoWriMo this November. Maybe you will. Just remember, grab the reader and don't let go, because it's true. Without a reader, dear writer, your words don't exist.
In response to the August 5th writing prompt from NaBloPoMo, "What is the best first sentence you can think of off the top of your head?"
That's how I think a book should start. I like a book that surprises me, that grabs me. I like a book which catches me off guard by acknowledging me. No, not all the time, but once in a while, when a book is written as though it's being written to me, or better still, urgently whispered into my ear, it makes reading all the sweeter.
Many books have brilliant openings, though most of them, even the most brilliant of them, are forgettable. There are the standards, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth," or "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," but in general, no matter how immediately the author sucks the reader into his/her tale, unless it is a truly jarring first sentence, the reader won't remember it fifteen pages into the book. That's why I want a first line that startles. Non-confrontational yet direct. A first line that unsettles. A first line that addresses me so personally that it might as well have said "Dear Slee."
Who knows, perhaps I'll take that opening to the bank. Perhaps I'll go ahead and use it for my NaNoWriMo this November. Maybe you will. Just remember, grab the reader and don't let go, because it's true. Without a reader, dear writer, your words don't exist.
In response to the August 5th writing prompt from NaBloPoMo, "What is the best first sentence you can think of off the top of your head?"
Monday, August 08, 2011
Bribes and Rewards
There is a fictive idea floating about the parenting world that if a child trades behaviors for things which he or she wants, then the child has been bribed, and this is bad.
The argument that it is bad goes something like "bribery doesn't teach the child to always perform the behavior and teaches them to extort their parents by holding out for bigger and better bribes." On the surface, that makes sense. However, the argument presupposes that all behavior based exchanges are in fact bribery. I don't think this is the case.
I think bribery is what happens out of desperation. Things like "stop throwing a tantrum and mommy will buy you that doll she just said you couldn't have." I don't think it's bribery to say "If you behave well and don't beg for things, you can pick out a new *something reasonable that the child wants* before we leave."
I think it's perfectly reasonable to reward children for their good behavior, and to even set up a schedule of how they'll be rewarded. In my house, if JabberWalky wakes up dry in the morning or from a nap, he gets an M&M. He gets another for going pee on his potty chair, another for going poop, and yet one more for pulling up his pants afterward. We use M&Ms because he likes them. When we're at grandma's we use marshmallows, because he likes them. Not everyone wants a treat, but he does, and he is proud when he earns them. He likes earning them. He doesn't always eat them all. Sometimes he shares them with his sister when he earns them, but picking each one out, and dictating their color mean a lot to him, because he knows he has accomplished something and is being rewarded for it.
I'm not going to tell you rewards are good because they work, but they do work. Rather, rewards are good because they build self esteem. They're a tangible way for the child to know "I did well and what I did has been acknowledged."
But that is not a bribe. A bribe is a dirty word associated with paying people off to do something which they otherwise wouldn't. A bribe is given when someone goes against their better judgement or their nature to do what you want. Bribes are given to make people act like someone they aren't. There is no learning involved. When you tell your kid "if you don't tell mom we were late to your play date, I'll buy you icecream," that's a bribe. Bribes aren't healthy, and they're not productive. They don't show pride in accomplishment, and they don't build self esteem.
Rewards should do both.
This summer, the library used a reward system to encourage the kids in the Summer Reading Program. For the tiny children, for every five books they listened to, they got another sticker for their poster to proudly display in the library. Now, my son likes listening to books, but if he was fussy and not sure he wants to listen, I could ask if he wanted to listen for stickers, and sometimes he'd say yes, and sometimes he'd say no, but when he got to place the stickers he earned, he was invariably beaming with pride.
Now, the argument that rewards are like bribes because they teach children to value the reward rather than the behavior is difficult to address because over time, the sorts of behaviors parents most frequently reward tend to become rote and habit. Over time, children quit needing praise for basic skills as they move on to more complex types of learning and their rewards become equally complex.
Eventually using the potty like a big boy will become second nature and he won't need rewards to reenforce the efforts he is making to learn to live la vida diaper free. One of these days I'm sure I'll be rewarding him for working hard on learning to read, and then later still he'll be rewarded with more reading time for helping me do something that needs to be done like the dreaded chores.
Then, when he's on his own, he'll be doing those chores and the reward will be the clean space when he's done, and he'll be rewarding himself for things I can't imagine in ways I may never know.
So why do rewards get such a bad wrap?
I really don't know. Our entire society functions on a reward system. For example, being a member of the workforce. Going to work is not a behavior that anyone would choose if they weren't being rewarded. If you're one of the rare people who would do your job even if you weren't being paid, gods bless you, you're likely a SAHM, but chances are, you do your job for the money. So are you being bribed to go to work, or are you earning your money? Well, unless you're getting paid under the table for your cooperation with the Mob, you're probably using your skills set to earn your money, which is the reward the company for which you work gives you in exchange for doing the behaviors they want. If you're self employed, you're still out to get rewarded for your efforts.
Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with doing things for a reward. Rewards are good. That's why time spent doing something wonderful with one's family is often described as being "rewarding." Rewards are good.
The argument that it is bad goes something like "bribery doesn't teach the child to always perform the behavior and teaches them to extort their parents by holding out for bigger and better bribes." On the surface, that makes sense. However, the argument presupposes that all behavior based exchanges are in fact bribery. I don't think this is the case.
I think bribery is what happens out of desperation. Things like "stop throwing a tantrum and mommy will buy you that doll she just said you couldn't have." I don't think it's bribery to say "If you behave well and don't beg for things, you can pick out a new *something reasonable that the child wants* before we leave."
I think it's perfectly reasonable to reward children for their good behavior, and to even set up a schedule of how they'll be rewarded. In my house, if JabberWalky wakes up dry in the morning or from a nap, he gets an M&M. He gets another for going pee on his potty chair, another for going poop, and yet one more for pulling up his pants afterward. We use M&Ms because he likes them. When we're at grandma's we use marshmallows, because he likes them. Not everyone wants a treat, but he does, and he is proud when he earns them. He likes earning them. He doesn't always eat them all. Sometimes he shares them with his sister when he earns them, but picking each one out, and dictating their color mean a lot to him, because he knows he has accomplished something and is being rewarded for it.
I'm not going to tell you rewards are good because they work, but they do work. Rather, rewards are good because they build self esteem. They're a tangible way for the child to know "I did well and what I did has been acknowledged."
But that is not a bribe. A bribe is a dirty word associated with paying people off to do something which they otherwise wouldn't. A bribe is given when someone goes against their better judgement or their nature to do what you want. Bribes are given to make people act like someone they aren't. There is no learning involved. When you tell your kid "if you don't tell mom we were late to your play date, I'll buy you icecream," that's a bribe. Bribes aren't healthy, and they're not productive. They don't show pride in accomplishment, and they don't build self esteem.
Rewards should do both.
This summer, the library used a reward system to encourage the kids in the Summer Reading Program. For the tiny children, for every five books they listened to, they got another sticker for their poster to proudly display in the library. Now, my son likes listening to books, but if he was fussy and not sure he wants to listen, I could ask if he wanted to listen for stickers, and sometimes he'd say yes, and sometimes he'd say no, but when he got to place the stickers he earned, he was invariably beaming with pride.
Now, the argument that rewards are like bribes because they teach children to value the reward rather than the behavior is difficult to address because over time, the sorts of behaviors parents most frequently reward tend to become rote and habit. Over time, children quit needing praise for basic skills as they move on to more complex types of learning and their rewards become equally complex.
Eventually using the potty like a big boy will become second nature and he won't need rewards to reenforce the efforts he is making to learn to live la vida diaper free. One of these days I'm sure I'll be rewarding him for working hard on learning to read, and then later still he'll be rewarded with more reading time for helping me do something that needs to be done like the dreaded chores.
Then, when he's on his own, he'll be doing those chores and the reward will be the clean space when he's done, and he'll be rewarding himself for things I can't imagine in ways I may never know.
So why do rewards get such a bad wrap?
I really don't know. Our entire society functions on a reward system. For example, being a member of the workforce. Going to work is not a behavior that anyone would choose if they weren't being rewarded. If you're one of the rare people who would do your job even if you weren't being paid, gods bless you, you're likely a SAHM, but chances are, you do your job for the money. So are you being bribed to go to work, or are you earning your money? Well, unless you're getting paid under the table for your cooperation with the Mob, you're probably using your skills set to earn your money, which is the reward the company for which you work gives you in exchange for doing the behaviors they want. If you're self employed, you're still out to get rewarded for your efforts.
Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with doing things for a reward. Rewards are good. That's why time spent doing something wonderful with one's family is often described as being "rewarding." Rewards are good.
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Just wanted to share the view from where I'm nursing my toddler.
The Thirteenth Tale, by Diane Setterfield
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane SetterfieldMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
In brief, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
This was the first book that grabbed my attention hard enough for me to finish it with a grabby and demanding baby.
A modern Gothic novel that reminiscent of Jane Eyre with delicious family secrets taken to the grave, and mysteries burning to be uncovered, The Thirteenth Tale was written with entrancing prose. I particularly enjoyed the unusual word choices which made me feel as though Setterfield spent many hours poring over her work until every single word in The Thirteenth Tale was chosen for both beauty and precise meaning.
Though the tale ranges from the scandalous to bizarre, and mysteries are layered upon mysteries ever edging along the paranormal, they never fully step outside the realm of the believable. Though the scandals are salacious, they are never described in the sort of sordid detail I've come to cringe through in many a similar tale. I greatly appreciated that Setterfield respected the story enough to tell the tale without gratuitous scenes of any sort. If it is in the book, it is a deeply intrinsic piece of the tale. I admire the restraint apparent in the construction of The Thirteenth Tale.
It's a book I would recommend to nearly anyone over the age of 15 looking for an enigmatic tale, and it is one which I plan to read again.
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Saturday, August 06, 2011
Songs of the Humpback Whale, by Jodi Picoult
Songs of the Humpback Whale by Jodi PicoultMy rating: 2 of 5 stars
Told from five perspectives, and in different orders, Songs of the Humpback Whale shows a remarkable depth of insight into the way in which events are different for every participant.
The at-times-confusing decision to write events backwards for a character and forwards for others helps avoid the tedium that could arise from retelling the same events multiple times, but unfortunately, at times, leads to difficulty in remembering where in the story one is with regard to everyone else's timeline.
More than once I felt as if people should be places they weren't, with foreknowledge they wouldn't have, because they were at a different point in time.
Overall it was an enjoyable story. I only give it two stars because it can be a difficult read to follow because of the multiple perspectives and timeline issues, and because, at times, it seems as though well established characters do something that feels forced in order to further the plot, rather than having the plot emerge organically as an outgrowth of circumstance or character.
I admit, there are bits of the ending that didn't sit well with me. Some of the "morals" of the story seemed, to me, illogical or old fashioned, and as such I feel "it was okay."
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Friday, August 05, 2011
This Alien Shore by C.S. Friedman
This Alien Shore by C.S. FriedmanMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
I found this book disturbing, but in a good way. As I see our world more and more becoming like the world in the Friedman's book, I am ever reminded of it. Rife with complex themes of identity, classism, racism, and the myth of corporate morality, This Alien Shore is both a good read and a thought provoking read.
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Thursday, August 04, 2011
The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova
The Historian by Elizabeth KostovaMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
I loved this book. I loved the complexity of the characters, like they could be real people with real dirt under their nails. the kinds of people who exist somewhere off the page. I think that's why it gave me nightmares.
I loved the rich wording and the way it evoked memories of late nights prowling the stacks in search of the right book for research, and the way Kostova wove cultural background into the characters without creating cliches.
This book is quite possibly my favorite vampire book, partially because of the way it veers from the typical vampire stereotypes, and partly because Kostova was writing a book about people whose lives were uprooted by the malice of a vampire, rather than a book about vampires and how awesome or evil they are, which has become far too common within the genre.
The fact that throughout the entire book, the focus seemed to be on the characters' humanity places this book at the top of the list for Vampire novels.
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for an entrancing and literary treatment of the genre.
View all my reviews
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Ingo, by Helen Dunmore
Ingo by Helen DunmoreMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is one of my favorite stories.
Athough the pace of the writing is somewhat slow, the tale itself wove together like a net ready to catch the reader and hold the reader transfixed.
Dunmore's elegant and eloquent use of vivid description throughout the tale creates an atmosphere which encourages the reader to forget that ze is breathing air while reading about swimming in the deep.
Told with remarkable emotional acuity and dealing with deep yet pervasive issues like abandonment and split families, Dunmore does an excellent job of rendering lifelike and deeply believable characters, the believability of whom is magnified, rather than reduced, through juxtaposition with the otherwordly undersea folk.
I highly recommend this book to anyone over the age of 8, and particularly to anyone staring wistfully or woefully out to sea.
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Tuesday, August 02, 2011
The Floating Islands by Rachel Neumeier
The Floating Islands by Rachel NeumeierMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Familiar but resonant themes coupled with a detailed and fantastic world filled with magery, adventure, war, and characters who are, at their core, all too human, make for an enjoyable read.
Neumeier's treatment of issues like loyalty, duty, orphanhood, the challenges of trying to fit in when one is of two places yet fully of neither, racial and gender roles, and the struggle for individuality make for a well rounded tale that though unearthly, rings true.
At times the plot seemed too neatly contrived, and at others the action seemed sudden and weight of detail awkward, but overall it was a smooth read and the characters were nearly all quite likeable. I enoyed the fact that even adversaries are, for the most part, written as people with different interests and different values, rather than as entirely evil.
Far too often the good guys are too good, and the bad guys too bad, leaving tales bereft of nuance. Neumeier manages to create characters who behave predominantly as individuals without taking on the weighty cowl of classic archetypes. This isn't to say that the archetypes don't make their appearances, but rather, that the characters are not defined solely by them.
More than the complexity of the story, for truly, the story was at times quite predictable, I enjoyed reading it knowing it was the sort of book I could comfortably set in front of a child who enjoyed fantasy stories of adventure and magic, without any concern for exposing ze to foul language or anything sordid.
If you're looking for a good wholesome adventure, it's definitely worth putting on your "Want to Read" list.
View all my reviews
Monday, August 01, 2011
Spoonflower Winner!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
Random says:
Random says:
Entry number 51 is:
If you want to get to know a little bit more about what HautTotes is likely going to be up to with her Spoonflower Spoondollars, you can check out her Etsy shop where she sells all sorts of bags, many of which are made with custom fabrics by fabulous artists. I even have one of her bags, though mine is with off-the-bolt regular fabric.
Thanks, everyone for entering! Happy sewing!
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