Ballots

Last week I was talking about how to pick the right candidates for the positions that matter, but there's a few other voting guidelines which I have come up with. Sometimes and office doesn't seem wholly important to me, or I don't have strong feelings on the issues. Some years I've forgotten my own rules and walked into the voting booth (well, not really a booth, we don't have booths, we have awkward tables with little privacy screens) only to be surprised by some of the issues and positions up for a vote.  When I follow my own rules, this doesn't happen.

I don't like political surprises.

Rule One:

Find out what the ballot will look like ahead of time.  It really isn't that complicated. Most areas' major newspapers will run the ballots the weekend before the election so that no one is left guessing. This information is also available online. I found mine on the County Clerk's website.
By knowing who and what will be on your ballot,  you have the chance to research the topics that didn't seem germane last week.

Rule Two:
Research the unopposed candidates. Why even bother, right? Well, I don't know about the specific election rules where *you* are, but here, my votes count even when I skip a section. I have the choice to vote for or skip voting for an unopposed candidate. Unopposed candidates have to get a percentage of the vote to be elected, so it's really a yes or no proposition that is presented somewhat deceptively. So yes, I research the unopposed, at least a little, to know if I want to fill in that oval or leave it blank.

Rule Three:
Don't be afraid to leave blanks. As I said earlier, my votes still count, even if there are blanks on my ballot, so I remind myself that it's okay to leave a blank if I still don't know, still don't care, or just don't like anyone running. There are also always options on my ballot where there will be more than one opening on a board of some sort, and I'll be asked to vote for up to three or up to four people. Those are the magic words: up to. I'm not required to counterweight my vote for the one candidate whom I would like to see fill a position by also building up votes for her opponents just because they're the lesser evils coexisting on a ballot. So yes, one is up to three. Two is up to three. Three is up to three. All of these options, including zero, is perfectly acceptable.

Ultimately, I have to remember,

the ballot is not my boss.

Rule Four:

Bring the kids. What? Yes, I said bring the kids. Don't electioneer and tell them for whom you are voting and why, but by all means, bring them. If you know who you're voting for ahead of time because you researched the issues and the candidates, and you're not going to be surprised because you made sure you knew what the ballot was going to look like, their fidgeting isn't going to stop you from filling it out correctly and they're going to learn that voting is part of what adults do. It is part of what it means to be a member of a community. 

Far too few young people vote. Your children can learn to value it as much as you do if you show them that you value it and help them understand the process. I don't know about you, but I'm raising citizens.

That's it, in a nutshell. Look it up, research anything I didn't expect to find on the ballot, remember that I don't have to vote for everything, and make sure my kids get involved with the political process too. Is there anything I missed?

Ignorance is an Island

Think back, way back. All the way back to when you were in school. Do you remember working on your homework in elementary school, middle school, high school? Do you remember asking if you could have a friend come over to study with you? Did your parent, guardian, or even your friend ever ask you "are you allowed to work together?" Maybe you've recently asked the question yourself. I know I did. This weekend my teenager wanted a friend to come over so they could collaborate on an art project and also work on their social studies homework. Their social studies homework, if I understand it correctly, is a workbook assignment about the Constitution (capital letters, baby- it's an important document).

There I was, being that mom. I said it.

"Are you allowed to work together?"

What? This isn't a test, and workbook pages should never be an assessment. Don't get me started on how they're used for grading, because that in and of itself is ridiculous, but workbook pages, if anything, are a tool for learning. In college, I often heard professors tell us that if we wanted to truly learn something, we needed to take what we knew and explain it to someone else.  It's a great exercise, really. It makes you take what you know, talk about it, analyze it, re-synthesize it, and think about it in different ways. When you've been able to teach it to someone else, you've had to get to know something better than copying a word you found in the text onto a fill-in-the-blank line.  

What does this have to do with working together? Kids who study together, who are actually focused on the work have the opportunity to ask their peers questions when they don't understand something, rather than just guessing what word goes on the line and moving on, willfully accepting that their answer won't be right, and that this piece of knowledge will either become clear to them in the future, possibly through osmosis or by someone reprogramming their up-link to the Matrix while they sleep, or that this piece of information will simply go unlearned and accepting that not knowing is okay. Sure, a few will go back into the source material and keep re-reading for clarification until they understand, but that's not every student, so why would we want to close off any possible means of better understanding?

Of course, the answer is one that was deeply ingrained into us through our own experiences with group education. We ask ourselves, "What if they cheat?"

Cheat? Yes. What if they cheat. What if one student finds the answers and the other student doesn't even read the questions but copies the answers into the blanks provided? I'm sure a lot of you remember a time you were accused of cheating in school. Maybe you even got a zero or an F on an assignment or test you worked hard on because of it. Maybe someone did cheat off of you and you were both punished. Isn't that the prevailing logic? "If two of you appear to have been cheating, you will both receive a zero."  It's the threat that has students hunkered over their in-class work, placing a second book on the desk and sometimes using their non-dominant hand as a shield in order to prevent prying eyes.

Seriously?

Are we that afraid that we're going to mis-assess what children have learned? Do educators truly not trust students, or their ability to teach them and model appropriate assessment behaviors? Instead of instilling academic ethics, we're teaching kids to fear the perception of cheating, when in fact, sometimes, working togetgher when learning things is a valuable tool.

It isn't as though educators don't know this. They promote this philosophy, every few weeks asking the students to form reluctant groups in order to work on projects. Then they bemoan their student's reluctance to collaborate, and their lack of skill when it comes to group endeavors. "Why don't they learn better in groups?" educators ask. "Why do they hit a wall when asked to collaborate?" Of course, we've trained them not to collaborate. We've instilled the notion that they should be an island of academic achievement, never turning to their peers unless specifically assigned to do so. We punish them for coming up with the same answers, if they aren't the answers we expect to see, even if it was a half hour debate on why that might be the best answer to a question. We assume that one student thought it up, incorrectly, and the other didn't bother to find out what the real answer was, and thus teach them not to work together.

One of the philosophies people toss about so often that it seems to lose meaning, "united we stand, divided we fall," speaks to this. Throughout history, the truly great things have been collaborations. (Someone out there is thinking Tesla was sort of a lone wolf, and yes he was, which is why he died penniless and alone: great example there.) So let's stop asking if they're allowed to work together. 

Invite your child's classmates over to study. Encourage out-of-school discussion on what they're studying, on the homework questions, on ways these topics and issues touch their lives. It sounds dorky. It sounds like your kid will hate you. It sounds like your kid's friends will think you're that mom or that dad. Be that mom. Be that dad. Be that afterschool care giver. You don't have to hound them, but be willing to facilitate if they show interest. Yes, they can work together. Yes, they can study together. It's called learning, and no matter how many people get involved, it's a good thing. A healthy thing. 

Then, when a teacher calls to say "your son and his friend both had the same bizarre answer to their homework, I think they're cheating," be prepared to say, "no, they were learning together. I overheard the discussion which led to that answer, and while they arrived at the same errant conclusion, they were both thinking about it, and that's how learning happens."
 
Teachers aren't evil. They aren't the enemy. They're not perfect. They're people, and they are people who were raised with the same anti-collaborative notions that keep getting instilled into the next generation. We're not going to start a colalborative revolution here on my blog. I wish, right? But we all have opportunities, every day to help our children learn to work together better by simply allowing it when they ask.

So yes, yes teenager, your friend can come over to study the Constitution, and if you both have the same wrong answer, at least you talked about it.

The Christmas Story: The Brick Bible for Kids - a Review

The Christmas Story: The Brick Bible for Kids by Brendan Powell Smith
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I have to say, the angel is kind of creepy and reclining legos seem a touch... well... off. That said, my kids love legos, and so this was a fun reading adventure for them. My teenager enjoyed it the most, particularly the slaughter of the innocents, but she's got a deep and abiding love of dark humor, and it was, most definitely, ultimately humorous to see the Christmas story told by legos. Props to the weirdlings geeks who thought this up, and their dedication to building. I laughed a lot, but like I said, there's just something creepy about the angels, and "child Jesus." Seriously, legless adult torso? Lego needs to hop on that whole legos that bred wagon.


View all my reviews

Pink Saturday:Breakfast

Mongoosine hates eating breakfast.
Don't let her sitting near food confuse you, she's rather stare at a newspaper than eat. Most mornings, she's got one thing on her mind, and that's "how long can I lay in bed before I absolutely have to get up" and breakfast comes between her and that plan.

What do you do to encourage your kids to eat before they leave for school in the morning?
For more Pink Saturday, check out How Sweet the Sound.

Grades

They say that parental involvement is the key to a good education, and while I do not take that so far as to homeschool, since Mongoosine and I are not particularly compatible in a learning environment for that many hours, I do try to keep involved and up to speed on what is going on at school.  She attends the local public school.

She's all sugar and spice. 

I can't imagine why a girl, who never exhibits any attitude wouldn't be the

 *perfect candidate*

 for homeschooling with a high-stress mother...

My daughter's school makes them all available online. When a grade is entered into the gradebook, it's immediately accessible from home.
I check them every day.
How often do you check your children's grades?  

Wordless Wednesday: Traditional Pony Back Rider

Wordless Wednesday

Dress Code Distress

My daughter's school has a rule that grates on my nerves.
The students aren't allowed to dye their hair any unnatural colors.

NO

Her school even prohibited a girl from attending her after-the-end-of-the-school-year graduation event because she had blue hair. Interestingly, this rule wasn't enforced equally at that event, allowing another girl with pink streaks to participate. Then again, that other girl was popular, and the blue haired girl... not so much.
So why does it bother me?
It bothers me because I don't feel it is the place of any school board or administrative staff to tell me or my kid what color her hair can be. It bothers me because it smacks of rule making for the point of controlling someone, rather than rule making in order to ensure the health, safety, or education of the students.
I have similar problems with other points in the dress code, but this one specifically makes my brain hurt.

At the beginning of the school year, the assistant principal explained in an orientation assembly that it would be a distraction, then went on to joke that we wouldn't want to see him with green hair, and so it's only fair. I had to bite my tongue, because frankly, green might be an improvement.

Personal attacks aside, honestly, I don't understand how the color of any child's hair is going to detract from the learning environment any more than an interesting bow or complicated braiding style or up-do might.  The children are allowed to wear shirts of whatever color, even ones with pictures and writing.  One would think these things are more distracting.

Further, if the color of a student's *anything* is going to detract from the learning environment, perhaps one needs to address the real problem. If what is going on in the classroom is less engaging than the hair color little Melanie or Stanley have been rocking for a week, then the kids wouldn't be learning, even if Melanie kept her ginger and Stanley kept his brown.

Rules for the sake of squashing creativity have no place in schools, and I'm embarrassed that our local schools enjoy creating rules for the sake of exercising power.

What do you think, would purple hair make it impossible for learning to take place?

Wordless Wednesday:How they Grow

Wordless Wednesday

Sir Drives a Lot

My son has a new thing. When we're waiting in the car for one of spouse's meetings, often up to 3 hours, he likes to sit in the driver's seat and pretend to be daddy.
He likes to grab the wheel and bounce in the seat, roll the windows down and up, play talking on the phone (yes, daddy talks in the car, never where prohibited, often while parked.)
What do you do to keep your wee ones entertained while waiting in the car?

Pink Saturday: A Boy having Tutu Much Fun

Sometimes little boys want to play with trucks, and sometimes they want to dress up in a tutu. Who am I to judge?  The way I look at it is this- if he's happily playing, no one is getting hurt, it's safe, then why do I care if my son's wearing a tutu? I wouldn't suggest he wear one climbing trees, but I wouldn't suggest my daughter do that either. Too easy to snare it on something and that could be dangerous, right?
So Just like last week, where he was having a ball, I think it's delightful if he's ready for the ball too.

I just wish I had gotten more pictures of him. He wouldn't hold still, he was too busy spinning and turning, dancing and singing. Very sweet.

For more Pink Saturday, head on over to How Sweet the Sound.

Wordless Wednesday: My Musician

Wordless Wednesday

Pink Saturday: My Adventurer

I have been meaning to share these photos for a while now.  A few months ago, on our way to visit relatives up in the Coulees, we came across this beautiful rock formation called Castle Rock.  When we got there there was a sand "path" around it and so we started to walk around it, and it was absolutely breathtaking.  However, at some point it became evident that the sand path was not actually a path, but rather the erosion of the rocks, as the path disappeared and left us somewhere about 40 feet higher than we'd like, without a good way to turn around. Fortunately, we were all feeling sure footed and managed to make our way back around to where we started without injury.  Mongoosine had a great time discovering crevasses, climbing, and showing off her agility.

"Oh no! It's a crack in the universe!"

"Look mom, I'm a tree"

"I'll take the stairs" 

 "Best seat in the house"

For more of Beverly's Pink Saturday, head on over to How Sweet the Sound.

You can also check out this nifty blog I found while on the Pink Saturday page- Bubblegum and Ducttape.

Poetry

Last night was Mongoosine's school poetry slam.
It was held in the school library.  The kids and the teachers dressed like Beatniks. We snapped rather than clapped and I felt moved to use words like "deep." Had they bothered to include the time on the invitation, there probably would have been more in attendance, but as it was, it was fine with me. We had to balance slam with choir anyway.  So, in honor of the slam, I will leave you with some poetry to ponder, if you can dig it.

Mama Dada

mama clock I when sun bright
hold early window blankie change
table shirt coffee skirt glasses fluffy on
and nurse we she when tug smile eye
curl laugh pillow kiss chirp sky

Wordless Wednesday: Tis a Gift to be Simple

Wordless Wednesday 

Wordless Wednesday: Slide

Up the slide

Down the Slide

Looking through the round slide.

Slide on over for more Wordless Wednesday

My Hero(ine)

Yesterday started out pretty normal.  Mongoosine fought the heat off by lazing around the house until the pool opened, and then gave her customary half question half statement "Pool?" accompanied by eyes darting toward the door, right before her feet followed pursuit.  It helped that a friend had just shown up on the porch.

I hollered "Sunscreen!" after her as she was dashing off the porch, waving a hand holding said sunscreen toward me as she and her friend rushed down the sidewalk toward the pool in that huddled way that girls do when they have secrets to share.  

I smiled, sighed, and went back to doing my mom-stuff, figuring she'd probably come home around 3:30 for adult swim, so I was somewhat surprised when at 2:14 a drippy wet daughter of mine was standing at the door asking if she and her friend could take snacks to the park.

I heard my husband ask why they'd left the pool.

"Pool's closed."

I admit, my eavesdropping mommy-sense kicked in.

I'll spare you the tween speak two word answers through which the rest of the story unfolded and sum it up.

Basically, my daughter made them close the pool. That picture up there? That's of the fire department draining the pool in the most summer-fun way they could think of.  They eventually got tired of doing it that way and got a few fire hoses to spray at ground level so no one had to hold anything.

Mongoosine had a lot of fun dancing in the spray while I verified her story with the pool managers.

Snapdragon even enjoyed the mist at the edge of the spray.

WHAT HAPPENED. (I'm sure she'll correct me and that I have the story ENTIRELY wrong - insert eye roll)

While swimming in the shallow end with her friends, doing underwater stunts like handstands and sitting on the floor of the pool, Mongoosine noticed something tickled her feet.  Upon further sub-aquatic investigation, she discovered the source of the "tickle" was a crack that was creating suction and pulling water through it.  Upon even closer examination she discovered a crack perhaps a foot long, and straight.  No, it was NOT shaped like this.  

She checked.  Twice.

Alas, it was merely a very normal not-two-moments-in-time-which-never-should-have-touched-creating-a-crack-in-the-universe run of the mill kind of crack.  But, she decided that it did have quite a bit of suction for a crack in the pool, especially in the shallow end where the not-so-great swimmers swim.  Therefore, she told a lifeguard. 

And the lifeguards had to get everyone out of the pool so they could investigate the boring normal not-Doctor-call-worthy crack in the bottom of the pool.  The crack was deemed a safety hazard, the pool was closed, and immediately drained.

The fire department had the pool drained in about 2 hours while the pool manager called the swimming lessons kids to cancel their morning lessons.  

Mongoosine was sad that she wouldn't get to swim for a few days while they fixed the pool.

Empty pool. *sigh*

See here the people working in the far away pool as the sun began to sink low?  Well, they did their job and did it well. Spouse tells me there is a patch welded into the bottom of the pool now, a bit over a foot square.  I didn't have a chance to see it because my sundown they were already refilling the pool.  Much to my surprise, it reopened at 1:00 this afternoon, right on schedule.  I imagine my little heroine who had the bravery to report a problem will be back soaking up the sun and splashing in the pool as soon as she finishes her leisurely lunch.

I'm proud of her. I don't know if I'd have said anything when I was her age.  I'm proud that she has the confidence to say something when she sees something she doesn't think is right.  I'm proud that she has ability to recognize an unrecognized problem.  

I'm just proud of her.  She's my hero.

Wordless Wednesday: Make a Wish

Wordless Wednesday

Blankie

When I was a kidlet, I had a blankie. It was a yellow thermal waffle knit blankie (the kind Gerber made back in the day which has square corners instead of rounded ones like they do now) with a thin silky yellow binding which my mom had sewn down with baby pink and kelly green thread. It had two rows of zig zag all the way around, and the corners were satin stitched. In one corner, she'd even satin stitched my initials.
It was love.
I took my blankie everywhere. I never slept without it. There are pictures of me hugging my blankie at Great America at 3 and at Disney when I was 4. I took it to overnights at friends' houses. I took it for show and tell in kindergarten where I proudly told the class. "This is my blankie. I like to hug it and I rub the binding between my fingers like this because it's smooth."
I liked the coolness of the binding and the way that the waffle knit left an imprint on my skin so that I could smile and remember cuddling my blankie.
I took my blankie to Girl Scout camp when I was seven. At eight my family had to drive over an hour out of our way on a long car trip because I had forgotten it at my aunt's house. My daddy made a U turn in front of the State Troopers' building, without complaint, the moment we realized it'd been lost, because my parents knew that I NEEDED my blankie. IIn fifth grade my mother replaced the binding, again with green and pink thread.
I took it to a camp focusing on organization and global thinking skills when I was 11. I took blankie to a different camp at 12 and 13, and to St. Louis on our 8th grade trip. I took my blankie on our big trip to England, and in high school I still slept, every night, blankie wrapped around my neck, or rolled beneath it.and with the ends shawl-like over my shoulders. I cried into my blankie when my friends were mean to me, I hugged it when excited. I'd drape it over my eyes when I had a headache, and the surest way to trick me into cleaning my room was to hide it, because no lurking corner was safe if I didn't know where blankie was.
Blankie and I were inseparable.
Since then I have found it strange that my daughter is a blankie-less child. Sure, she has blankets. She even has ones with soft and silky binding carefully sewn by her mother. She has small quilts I've made her, and blankets from her grandmother, crocheted blankets, woven blankets, blankets galore, but nonetheless, she never had a blankie.
Now, my son, some (almost) 11 months old, seems to be showing no amount of interest in a blankie. Most nights he doesn't even sleep with one.
I feel like she missed something. I feel like he's missing something.
It isn't that I want to encourage dependence on a blankie or an unhealthy attachment to a single object, but I can't imagine not having that one constant special something, the presence of which is so soothing.
His first birthday is coming up soon, so I bet you can guess what I'm planning to give him, right?

Too Much Time Tweeting

Hello, my name is @fentonslee, and I have a problem.
That's the first step, right? Admitting you have a problem?

Let me explain.
This week, Spouse, Snapdragon, and I are on a business trip which involves a few days in St. Louis. Well, it occurred to me that I have a RL friend who lives in the area, and one good "tweep" in the area too. So what do I do?. I start the FB and Twitter hounding so they'll entertain me while I'm here.

It gets worse.

First, I go to my RL friend's house. We're having a lovely time, a lovely TALKING TO ADULTS TIME, which is priceless, but in the back of my head I'm thinking "why did I leave my phone in my diaper bag? I can't tweet without my phone." I know, you're shaking your head in disdain, but it's not just me. At some point she picks up her laptop and quickly updates her Facebook status and then says something about Twitter. Apparently she's addicted too, so I grab my phone and now I'm following her.

Then I was meeting one of my tweeps, @HeathensHearth, for the first time in real life. You might know her from her Etsy shop.

First, let me say, she's awesome. But that's not the point.

We sit down to eat, and Snapdragon is wearing @crossbones_inc handmedowns, and then I mention how the day before he was wearing @crossbones_inc handmedowns that were actually @RockerByeBaby's kids' before that.

Then she notices my diaper bag. "Is that a @HautTotes bag? I like the bandanna fabric." "Yes, it is, but I'm hoping to soon be able to get a @brookevangory bag, because they have pockets and zip closed and have longer straps."

So then I pull some felt food out of said bag for Snapdragon, "this is @MomaLoveBug bacon."

And so it went. The @HygeiaKate expressed milk bottle holding his cheerios... the @GroBaby diapers.

It's like when things grew a ".com" only now everything has an @.

Yes, my name is @fentonslee, and I have a problem...

not that I'm looking to solve it.

Do you have a problem?

Boikido Blocks Giveaway!

CLOSED

I've been pondering what to get for Snapdragon and Mongoosine's birthdays for a while now. I had the brilliant luck to have children with birthdays less than two weeks apart, so it means trying to think tween and toddler at the same time. (No, he isn't toddling yet, but he will be soon!) One of the hard things about thinking in both directions is finding places that let you shop in both directions. Well, I have gotten quite a few ideas from AllChildrensFurniture.com. I mean, their kids bedding section alone has over two THOUSAND options from little bitty baby bedding up through the trendiest of teen options... one of which, just might involve sock monkeys.

See? How PERFECT is that?

And talk about toys! The number of options AllChildrensFurniture.com offers is positively mind blowing. Even better? They've generously offered to give away something delightful to one of my readers!

It's something fun for the kidlets, and since I love color, natural materials, and things which inspire the wee ones to be creative, I'm quite excited about this!

(drumroll please)

The Boikido 50 piece blocks set.

Cute? Do you heart them as much as I do? Well, All Childrens Furniture has generously offered to give a set to one of my readers. This is one of those giveaways I wish I could win!

The Boikido 50 piece blocks set are hand made and hand painted wooden wonderment. Did you catch the car and the moon? I love these.

You wanna win?

Mandatory Entry:

Head over to the CSN Stores sites and tell me what your favorite thing is that they carry. Okay, that's impossible, how about something you really really like instead? Leave the description or the link in your comment along with your email address, unless your email is linked to your blogger profile and easy to access. If I can't contact you, you can't win.

Extra Entries, because we all like to benefit from trying harder. *Leave a separate comment for each*

1. Follow my blog.

2. Subscribe to my blog via email and confirm said subscription.

3. Blog about this giveaway linking back here and to the host. (3 extra entries)

4. Grab my button and let me know where you put it.

5. Tweet this giveaway, up to twice daily. Tweet must link to this post and include @fentonslee. Leave the permalink to your tweet in your comment. (get the permalink by clicking on the time beneath your tweet)

6. Leave a comment on a non-giveaway post somewhere else on my blog, and then leave a comment here letting me know where to find it! (unlimited)

Contest is open to US and Canadian residents or people who live elsewhere but plan to have the item shipped to a US or Canadian address.

Contest will close April 12th 2010 at 11:59 CT

Winner will be selected via a random number generator and notified via email. Winner will have 48 hours to respond to said email. Should winner neglect to respond for whatever reason (chased by rabid iguanas, not caring, or overwhelmed with tax season) a new winner will be selected using whichever method seems the most amusing at the time. Tongue twister tweet off, perhaps?

DISCLOSURE- I wasn't compensated for this giveaway.