Friday, April 09, 2010

Singularly Uncomfortable

It finally happened. I had a genuinely "uncomfortable nursing my baby in public moment."
It was bound to happen, so I'm not too terribly surprised, although I was starting to think that I was immune to such feelings, being all super-human and all that.

I was sitting in a fast food restaurant while Spouse was in a meeting. I wasn't really hungry but I needed somewhere to be, so I went in and ordered a drink and found a spot in the corner to nurse Snapdragon, since he hadn't nursed in nearly five hours and the engorgement was really getting to me. However, finding the quiet corner meant walking through the whole entire restaurant, whereupon I noticed that I was the only female in the building.

I don't know why that should matter, but for some reason, I felt awkward. I'm sure part of my awkwardness was that I was already off balance with the whole having to find somewhere to be thing. When my purpose isn't to be at place X, but rather to not be at place Y, I always feel awkward at place X, like they know I am only there because I have nowhere else to be. Weird? Yes. But I never claimed to be normal.

I know that was a contributing factor, but I'm also certain that had there been women, or people with children in the restaurant, I would have felt more comfortable. Of course, it was an industrial area, which rather limited the liklihood of running into other moms out with their kidlets.

All this said, no one looked at me funny. There was no oogling, no snickering, nothing that *should* have made me feel uncomfortable, but being so very in the minority that i was a singularity made me uncomfortable.

Have you ever had moments of trepidation?