Sunday, October 04, 2009

A Tale of Horror.

It's October, so I decided hat this tale isn't too frightening to share, though in fact, it very well may be. Please, if you have small children or ferrets, don't read this allowed at them, as the trauma may be permanent.
As I was cleaning in my bedroom today, yes, I was cleaning, I got near the bed. This was my mistake.
As a child I used to always jump into bed, preferably from as far away as possible. I suffered from that unnamed fear of something under the bed reaching out and grabbing me. A hand, a claw, a tentacle, I don't knoiw just what, but something. I hate that feeling. I hate standing by my bed when I'm not actively busy to distract myself from the dread of what could lurk beneath the bed.
As a child and teenagern I combatted this fear by filling the space beneath my bed with as many boxes and other junk as I could. No zombies under the bed if there's no room for them on top of the tennis racket and costume boots beside the file folder box stuffed with all of the papers and notebooks from my sophpmore year. Safety in mess.
Well, somehow the bedskirt of my bed had today become unsettled and that's when I saw it, beneath my bed, more frightening than any netherworld demon with gray and scaly flesh with three inch claws. No, this was a horror that left me cold and still as I tried to calculate the best and safest way out of the situation.
Was it a spider the size of a pitbull, you wonder? Perhaps a snake?
It was one of Snapdragon's diapers.his cloth diapers. On spouse's side od the bed. But spouse hasn't changed him in nearly a month.
That's right.
A cloth diaper that has possibly been festering and fermenring for a month.
What to do?
If you cloth diaper, you understand my dread.
It won't go away for wanting it to.
No, it had to be handled.
Did I mention it is a bright yellow OS pocket? It is neither ignorable or cheap. *shudder*
Did I mention I've been handwashing these things most days?
So its me, and the scary diaper under the bed.
I steel myself for the worst and reach under (no invisible dogs bite me as I put my hand under the bed) and grab the diaper.
It isn't poopy. This is both good and bad, because it's fleece, and that means that there is only one way to verify whether it is amonia-tastic and needs to be treated separately from the rest of Snapdragon's diapers.
*The sniff test.*
That's right. The sniff test.
I had to put my nose to the diaper and inhale.
Anyone else breaking out in a cold sweat with me?
Despite my worst fears, the fluffy of doom turned out to be nothing more than a fluffy renegade, gone AWOL at the end of its last laundry tour. A lonely deserter.
That was scary. Scarier still- I need to get the underside of my bed vleaned out. Who knows what might be lurking down there?
So please tell me I'm not alone, have you ever had anything like this happen to you?

6 reflections:

Jackie at 3littleones said...

OMG!!! You poor thing!! I have not had this happen but I'm not sure how I would handle this. I really do feel for you right now!

Denise said...

We currently have an AWOL Gro Baby diaper, I've had nightmares about the possibilities of WHERE it could be & what condition it might be in when I finally find it. All my wet bags are accounted for, so I'm relatively certain it isn't poopy anywhere, but it could be under any number of beds in this house & like you, I HATE cleaning all the stuff out from under beds for fear of what might be lurking.

I'm happy for you that your scary story had a happy ending!

Julie said...

ROFL! Cute story. I actually found two pocket diapers, soaked with pee but long since dried, in my beach bag. One day the boys had worn cloth to the beach and I had no wetbag or anything on hand so I folded them and put them in our mesh bag, swearing I'd take them out immediately when we got to the car. I forgot and weeks later found them. They weren't ruined but they were scary and I was glad that the beach bag wasn't air tight which had given them time to dry instead of mold over...

Mom of Three said...

ROFL. No but it sure was funny reading about it. You poor thing!

Jess said...

LOL you lucky duck you yup I've had this happen but not with your luck *gag* & it was my fault :P

Carly said...

That is so funny. Great story glad it was a clean one !