Monday, January 31, 2011

5 Reasons to Say "I Don't"

Sometimes the universe aligns and you live happily ever after.
Sometimes you just thought it did and as the date approaches, you know that it's going to be an unmitigated disaster.
Sometimes you're not sure which it is, so here is my handy dandy guide to when you need to say "No."

1. You're related. I don't mean third cousin related, I mean "hey, isn't it weird that we're both test tube babies, with the same weird genetic condition, and look like we could pass for siblings?" So if you two met at the family reunion, it's okay to call it off.

2. You're in love with someone else, or your partner is.  Seriously, hung up on someone else is not the way to start a relationship, especially since it means you'll be more likely to jump ship anyhow.  Love- Don't feel it? Don't do it.

3. You're only doing it because you think you're supposed to.  Seriously, if you don't want to go through with a wedding, you probably don't want to go through with the marriage.  Just because everyone else is saying "It's high time," doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do.

4. You've been lying the whole time. About your age, your religion, your criminal history, your home planet, your gender, your species, your health history, the fact that you like skim milk.  Whatever it is, if you've got a deep dark secret you can't share with this person, then you can't share a life with them, and it certainly is better to call a halt to it before you say "I do."

5. Your partner is abusive.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually.  It's always okay to get out of an abusive relationship, but it's not okay to slog along and put up with it just to be married. No, your partner will not change after the wedding.  Your eye shouldn't be the something (black and ) blue at your wedding, nor should your self-image.

There ya go, in no particular order, 5 reasons to not get married. 

Now, the rest of you? Happy wedding bells. 

2 reflections:

Anonymous said...

Ha! All very excellent reasons.

We're been living in sin for 12 years now.I refer to him as my hubby, he calls me The Wife. I swore I'd NEVER,ever,ever,ever get married on paper but he has insurance and I don't soooo....

I still hate that something like insurance has to be a reason to get married.

Slee said...

I have known people who got married for just that reason.
And it's the WRONG reason.

I think my favorite is lying about your home planet.