I've Nursed In Public...

Welcome to the July 2010 Carnival of Nursing in Public

This post was written for inclusion in the http://www.nursingfreedom.org/p/carnival-of-nursing-in-public.html">Carnival of Nursing in Public hosted by Dionna and Paige at http://nursingfreedom.org">NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public ("NIP"). See the bottom of this post for more information.

I've nursed in public in a lot of places.

At a wedding, at a funeral.

A party or ten, the coffee house.

Restaurants, airports, movie theaters.

Libraries, doctors' offices.

Grocery stores, clothing stores, in the middle of the mall.

The post office, the beauty salon.

Forest preserves, neighborhood parks.

In churches, at museums, in the graveyard, in the pool.

At the DMV, in line at the voting booth.

City Halls, Town Halls, Villiage Halls, Municipal Centers.

At my daughter's elementary school, at the middle school and high school.

At award ceremonies and concerts.

Arcades and mini-putt courses.

At art fairs, at craft fairs, in fair weather and cloudy.

Circuses and indoor golf ranges.

Carnivals, festivals, and farmers markets.

Fabric stores.

Elevators.

Lobbies galore and at the Gym.

At parades and while parading down the sidewalk between shops.

At the planetarium and at the beach.

In my insurance agent's office, at my husband's work.

La Leche League Meetings, Cemetery Association meetings, and Girl Scout meetings.

At the fireworks, at cookouts.

At prudish Christmas parties.

Gas stations and truck stops.

I've nursed a lot of places.

What has always struck me as odd is that the majority of the reaction I have seen while nursing in public has been averted gaze or a smile from a mother who is nursing her baby, or has nursed in the past.  At the planetarium a woman even came up to me and said she was really proud of me for nursing in public and to keep up the good job, reassuring me that I was giving my baby the best nutrition I could.  That felt a little silly to me because I'm the one who usually tries to encourage others, but still, made me feel hopeful for other nursing moms.

Yet.  Isn't there always a yet?

I have received incredulous looks from one person, as if to say "do you have to do that *here*" or "can't you cover that up?"  One person has asked if I was going to stop nursing inpublic soon as my baby was, at the time, a whole great big 10 months old, and another, when he was very small, looked at me with astonishment while I nursed my wee one in a side room at the library, gasped, and asked "you're doing THAT, HERE?"

Yes, dear SPOUSE, I do have to do this here, and without a cover.

No, dear MOTHER, I am not planning on ceasing and desisting all nursing in public just because my baby is bigger than a loaf of bread.

Yes, dear DAUGHTER, I am going to do this, and I am going to do it here.

That's right. All of the pointed negative looks, questions, and comments I've received while nursing in public have come from those closest to me.

I think it's sad when I hear similar stories from friends, that the people who raise the greatest barriers and work as the greatest obstacles to their breastfeeding in public are the people who should be the most supportive.  

Therefore, dear reader, I'd like to tell you how I've responded.

I've looked them in the eye, told them that where we live a mother has the legally protected right to nurse her baby anywhere she otherwise has a right to be, and can do so without the aid of a cover, regardless of exposure incidental to nursing.  I have then pointed out that the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding to at least the age of 2, and beyond as long as it is mutually agreeable to both members of the nursing dyad.  Then I had to explain "dyad."  But I don't stop there.

I also explain that the United States has a very low breastfeeding rate, partially because of comments, questions, and looks like the ones they're giving, and that it has a real cost inthe health of the mothers and babies who don't nurse, and an economic cost in terms of dollars spent on healthcare which likely would not have been necessary had immune systems and gastric/intestinal development been fully supported.  I explain that we would be living in a healthier nation and that the money spent on formula would be better spent elsewhere for the betterment of the child and their family, rather than on a chemical brew which only poorly mimics the nutrition a baby gets from his mother's milk.

By this point they're sighing and rolling their eyes, squirming in their chair and wishing I'd just go back to nursing and stop lecturing them.

But you know what?  It worked with two out of three people.  The hold out? My husband. He's still terrified someone's going to see a little too much of what he thinks is his territory and get the wrong idea.   But having overheard my mom and daughter explaining this to others, later, I think that perhaps education is the best way to build acceptance of nursing inpublic. Exposure and education.  

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  The more nursing moms get out and nurse in public, the more they explain why it's important for a baby to be fed when and where that baby is hungry, the more they educate others as to their rights and as to "expert" recommendations (people like expert recommendations, personally, I'm more a fan of happy babies) the sooner we will see the re-normalization of breastfeeding, even in public.

Where will you be nursing today?

Welcome to the Carnival of Nursing in Public

Please join us all week, July 5-9, as we celebrate and support breastfeeding mothers. And visit NursingFreedom.org any time to connect with other breastfeeding supporters, learn more about your legal right to nurse in public, and read (and contribute!) articles about breastfeeding and N.I.P.

Do you support breastfeeding in public? Grab this badge for your blog or website to show your support and encourage others to educate themselves about the benefits of breastfeeding and the rights of breastfeeding mothers and children.

<center><a href="http://www.nursingfreedom.org/p/carnival-of-nursing-in-public.html" title="Carnival of Nursing in Public"><img src="http://www.babydustdiaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/inip1.png"  alt="Art by Erika Hastings at http://mudspice.wordpress.com/" border="0"></a></center>

This post is just one of many being featured as part of the Carnival of Nursing in Public. Please visit our other writers each day of the Carnival. Click on the links below to see each day’s posts - new articles will be posted on the following days:
July 5 - Making Breastfeeding the Norm: Creating a Culture of Breastfeeding in a Hyper-Sexualized World
July 6 – Supporting Breastfeeding Mothers: the New, the Experienced, and the Mothers of More Than One Nursing Child
July 7 – Creating a Supportive Network: Your Stories and Celebrations of N.I.P.
July 8 – Breastfeeding: International and Religious Perspectives
July 9 – Your Legal Right to Nurse in Public, and How to Respond to Anyone Who Questions It