Monday, July 06, 2009

The Shy Milch Cow

You may remember this, but I'm not too bashful about nursing in public. Whether I'm stretching the plunging V neck of a summer dress to feed Snapdragon while walking around a mall in Chicago or pulling my shirt up at the fireworks in small town Wisconsin, I don't have a problem with nursing in public. I could be a touch more discrete at times, I will give you that. I even have a gorgeous nursing cover for when I don't feel like getting a sunburn on the tatas or when I'm feeling like the creepy guy in the corner of the restaurant is enjoying watching Snapdragon eat far too much.
Sorry buddy, the girls are a bowl of porridge, so you can stop leering. Creep.
So why oh WHY is it that there is one very specific person it bothers me to nurse in front of? Why on gods green earth am I too shy to nurse Snapdragon in front of my MIL?
She nursed her first four children, so why wouldn't I feel like this is some common bond between us?
But no. I'd much rather snatch Snapdragon up and take him in my bedroom to feed him than be told that I should let him cry.
I think that's what it is.
Spoiled.
So tired of that word. Spoiled. Like a baby can go bad. Like loving your child, feeding your child, making sure their needs are met *before* the meltdown is a bad thing. Like kids are overripe pears and if we squeeze them too often they'll bruise and spoil.
So instead I get shy. I get behind-closed-doorsy about feeding times when she's around. I let him get a little more upset before I sneak off to nestle skin to skin and nurse him into that delightful milk-drunk bliss that looks so perfect and endearing on him.
I go from self assured and confident supermom with the power to make milk and satisfy small ones with the touch of my hand or a nosey nuzzle to the shy milch cow who has to hide out and worry about just how many square inches of skin might be peeking.

So here's an idea. Support the shy milch cow in your life so she doesn't feel like she has to retreat. Tell the friend of yours who is still nursing, or yourself if it's you that it's great she's feeding her baby, and wonderful that she respects her baby's needs while he's still learning to trust and doesn't quite understand yet that the discomfort and even fear will eventually end. Help her be the not-shy milch cow.

Be her own special nursing bra and support support support.

5 reflections:

Kim (GADBaby Diapers) said...

Great post! I am a whip it out anywhere kinda gal, but I have one or two people that I still feel compelled to cover up around.

Kristen said...

I'm a shy milch cow so to speak especially around my MIL. She makes me feel uncomfortable because she will put a hand up when she walks past me or something like "gross don't wanna see that". If other people weren't so awkward about breastfeeding it would help a LOT. I doubt back when they didn't have formula and bottles people acted this way. It's a totally natural thing but society acts like it's totally gross and makes it all that more awkward for the milch cows.

Pamela said...

maybe if you squirted her in the eye she would shut up. just a thought. it worked on my brother.

Monkey Snuggles said...

Maybe it's more about the MIL than the nursing? I know I look for any excuse to run and hide from mine sometimes. Did I just say that?

Jess said...

LOL So the other night I was at Ls moms & I was feeding R before we headed out for the comedy club (you know how that ended) she actually threw a scarf at me & told me to cover up & his auntie told me its wrong & asked when I was going to quit :-/ yup thats right my baby is my drug & I need to quit *sigh*