Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Perfect Child.

Having children is difficult.
We want so badly for them to be perfect.
Perfectly healthy, perfectly smart, perfectly happy.
We want others to look at our children and see their beaming perfection.
We want them to say "What a darling child. Isn't he just perfect!" or "How adorable, she's just the sweetest."
We want them to be perfect and we want that perfection to be recognized.
We want to take credit for their perfection.
"Why yes, she sleeps perfectly all night. Its because I wear her all day."
"Of course he's talking early. That's because I played music to him in the womb. Mozart."
We try not to expect too much. We try not to be too boastful. We even try not to let ourselves consciously put our kids forward to recieve undue attention, but in the end, at some point, we're all pretty guilty. That is, I'm assuming I'm not the only one who wants people to comment on how handsome my little man is riding around in his sling. And just in case you're wondering, he's quite handsome.
But here's the thing. Our children are perfectly themselves, but that's about it.
Sure, Mongoosine was born 100% couldn't be healthier, that is, after her heart restarted. But not a single "defect" on that child. She was completely coture. Unique and perfect. She wasn't the discount baby due to a backwards snap or a missed hemseam. No-sir-ee. Perfect.
When she was one she knocked a tooth out. It's replacement didn't grow in until she was about 7. So she spent years with me hoping no one realized that she had knocked it out. For a while it looked like maybe it hadn't grown in yet. Then it looked like maybe it just came out early, but I was constantly aware of it.
Then it did start to grow in, and, of all things, it grew in with a yellow stripe! But she's still my perfect little girl. My perfect little girl, with a yellow striped tooth. (Darn you tooth bud nerve damage!)
All in all, I'd never had to think about soemthing being "wrong" with my baby girl.
But then my PERFECT little boy was born. Did I mention that he's perfect? Just thought you should know that before we go any further.
i already knew he had all ten fingers and toes, and all the other appropriate bones, because the ultrasound showed them all quite clearly, so I wasn't worried about a sixth toe or horns or anything like that, and was therefore not surprised when he came out looking more or less "Perfect." Sure, he had one heck of a case of the white pimply bumps that so many newborns come with, but that was okay and to be expected. If you've ever pushed a kid out, or had it cut out, for that matter, then you know that they don't come out looking like the newborns on television.
They're wrinkly and crinkly and look a lot more like Winston Churchill or a naked chicken than anything else.
But they're PERFECT, you hear me? Perfect.
Well, it turned out that there was a very inconsequential anomoly, hydrocele. It's already starting to go down, so that's good.
I admit, I was, a little sad that he was perfect except for this one little thing.
I didn't know it was two. I'm not counting the stork bite.
And yes, it's whiny of me, but there's this other thing I found out about today.
I've been noticing that when he's sleeping, really deeply sleeping, he sometimes makes these strange high pitched barking noises when he's breathing in. It wakes me up, and so I casually mentioned it to the doctor today expecting to be told "kids make all sorts of noises. If it's not waking him up, don't worry about it."
Well, that's not what he said.
He listened to his lungs more thoroughly than I've ever seen a kid get his lungs listened to, and looked at his throat, and then showed me a windy cord like telephones had. The one hooking the lighted scope for the ears and nose.
Then he started describing the sturcture of the trachea. How it's built of rings of muscles. Then he collapsed the loops onto one another. Aparently that's what Snapdragon's airway is doing when he gets into that deeply relaxed stage of sleep where all the muscles go slack. It's collapsing.
That's right. He said my son's airway is collapsing.
Laryngomalacia. Try saying that three times fast.
It's allegedly quite common, and I'm told I shouldn't worry about it.
I don't think I'm going to be sleeping well for a while, but from what google has told me, I should go ahead and let myself sleep.
All the resources I've now read since 10:30 this morning agree with my doctor. Give him a few months, and he should be just perfect.

2 reflections:

Jennifer said...

I'm sorry Snapdragon has this. My neice was born with Laryngomalacia also, and as scary as it was for my sister, she did eventually out grow it and is "perfect" now (at least in my sister's eyes:)

Upstatemomof3 said...

Oh man! How scary!!!! I can only imagine but I don't think I would be sleeping too well either.